For me, the spiritual world is actually the real world. It is everywhere,
My definition of "awakening" (besides the vampiric awakening) is as
follows: someone who awakens opens one's spiritual eyes, and has a
larger perspective and vision of the world. This larger vision includes
lots of things and abilities: I get awakened, I heighten my soul,
and I open the memory of the spirit. In this memory is included the
memory of other lives. It is a door you have opened, naturally, without
forcing it. Everything is written in your subconscious. Everything
is linked. In the spiritual world the senses are all together, harmonically
mixed (see "synesthesia", a good example of this hidden spiritual
memory), and so are the dimensions, and the time. There is not the
same notion of time. Time is eternity, past, present, future, all
in the same “time”. It is difficult to imagine such a notion; it would
be like trying to imagine the dimension of the Universe.
I would compare time to an ocean. When one is in the ocean, swimming,
like most of the people, one is involved in time, sees the time/ocean
pass. The past is behind, the present is in his/her arms, and the
close future is visible, but one can never guess what can happen in
one hour. This is how we perceive and experience the time when we
are not awakened. Now, someone awakened is above the ocean, very high
above. This person sees the entire ocean, i.e. the past, the present
and the future, not only of his/her self, but also of the entire collective
memory. S/he can guess the depth of the ocean, but there are no notions
such as past, present and future. Everything is one. Remember: “I
heighten my soul (I fly)” and have a larger vision of the world. Experience
and perception are the same in this wider perspective.
Of course, I don’t constantly experience/perceive time like that.
I would be nuts. I am aware of the nature of time, and I experience
the larger vision when I shift my state of mind, achieving an altered,
larger vision of the universe.
Time is relative, said Einstein. He was the first to perceive and
try to demonstrate the relativity of time. He said that time is another
dimension, curved in the space, different for everyone even if measurable.
Einstein was highly awakened, actually, and his observations are very
interesting; one can learn a lot from him. Did you ever experience
“strange” things, like for example an unexplainable alteration of
time? It did happen to me. How many times I have the feeling that
five minutes have past, and when I check the clock, three hours have
past? Or the inverse: sometimes I get the impression that at least
two hours have past, I really feel this, and when I check, only three
minutes have past. It happens all the time, especially since I have
come to the conscience of my awareness.
I’ll give another interesting example regarding time. Most of the
stars we see in the sky are maybe dead for a very long time. So why
do we see them? Because they are/were so far away in the space, milliards
and milliards light years, that while their light was travelling to
us, they had time to disappear.
It gave me an idea. Imagine a powerful telescope, able to travel incredibly
fast in space – able to almost instantaneously arrive at its destination,
getting far away enough from the earth. This telescope watches the
earth. It stops at a certain distance: 30 light years. It is far away
enough to receive the light from the earth, but a 30 years old light.
The telescope would “see” how the earth was 30 years ago. Now, it
travels another 2000 light years. Our telescope would see the earth
2000 years ago. And so on, until the dinosaurs, and why not? Until
the beginning of the universe. It shows how much time is relative.
We are all spirits. But our body is our school for souls, and our
brain is the guardian. The guardian of what? The brain is a filter,
keeping hidden lots of information about the spiritual nature of a
human. See, if an unawakened human being would remember every event
in his life as a disincarnated spirit, or every event from his other
incarnated lives, he would become instantly nuts. These things get
revealed to someone who is ready to “see”, I mean really see with
the spirit eyes.
Why have we, spirits, been incarnated?
First, here are some of my insights. Imagine this: we are able to
travel into, for example, a stone (I say a stone, but it could be
a plant, a leave, a fork, a crayon, etc.). I mean, really travel into
the stone, into its molecular structure. What would we see? Molecules,
which are galaxies. The stone would be a universe, a huge universe,
perceived as unlimited for the inhabitants of the galaxies. Now, let’s
see what’s in the molecules/galaxies. Suns, solar systems. A planet.
People on this planet. And stones. And now, let’s go out of this cosmos/stone.
Maybe we, here, on this earth, are a part of a molecule of a stone
which is in another world? Maybe there are many universes encased
all together, and this would actually be the explanation for parallel
worlds? And probably, a second in another world means milliards and
milliards years in another world.
Now, what is the Big Bang? It could be an accident. Someone, in another
dimension maybe lit a fire on a piece of wood, in which we were, but
only as spirits, because of the distance of the molecules, which were
too far away from each other to be galaxies, we were living in a kind
of immaterial space. Maybe there were planets, made of gas, on which
it was not possible to live as material beings. But this sudden fire,
in our dimension, provoked a huge disruption and an incredible warming
up of the world, and it created a dense matter. The earth was born.
Matter calls matter: we could no more exist only as spirits. Why?
Maybe we were tempted by such a nice planet, which looked so good,
and so liveable. Milliards years later, which is nothing in comparison
to our immortal souls (see my theories of time), we got incarnated
in our first human shells. We could not live our life on earth as
spirits. Other souls said “Okay, you want to live on earth, incarnated
in matter, but you will have to pay a price: it will be difficult
to be a human, you will die, and you will forget all your knowledge
as spirits. You will have to learn to be humans, in order to deserve
to be immortal spirits again. When you get fed up of being human,
when you will have learnt enough, then you’ll be welcome back in the
immaterial world.” I said “other souls” but maybe it was ourselves
who decided this, it was maybe a common decision. So, we got incarnated.
But not everyone. Some souls hesitated, letting the others experiencing
the human life. Some souls came later. This is why we say there are
“old” and “young” souls, but actually I think, as far as we are all
immortal, we cannot die, so we have no beginning. But, the ones who
were incarnated before are more experienced, and have learnt a lot
more than the others who came later. This is why there is this notion
of “old” and “young”.
This is why I say that our human body is our “school”. This is the
“karma”. And you may easily understand why a person who isn’t ready
doesn’t consciously remember her/his spiritual life. And who knows,
maybe physical life is somehow addictive for a spirit. Addictive,
until the spirit has learnt to quit its physical shape.
An awakened person has the ability to see whatever the opened door
reveals to him/her: a past life, a state of mind as a spirit, an aura,
a dead person/animal, emotions, and so on. I sometimes let a part
of my astral body fly, and he naturally comes into other person's
subconscious, and in one second all their life, emotions, feelings
get revealed to me. And the “scanned” person feels it. But I choose
when it happens; I do it with respect for the person; I just let it
happen, without “raping” the mind of the person. Sometimes I let my
spiritual eye get wide open, and I can see auras, see etherial movements
in the air, like translucent waves… and I remember of some of my former
lives, and I remember too when I was a disincarnated spirit.
Sometimes it is painful to “see”, in a small part of a second, just
after you have caught someone’s eye or met someone in an elevator,
how terrible, how bad, that person is. Or to guess a bad future. This
is the negative side of this ability. But I don't regret it.
Just another remark: I don't think this “awakening” is particularly
linked with vampirism. One can be awakened without being a vampire.
But I get the feeling that most of the awakened people are vampires.
So, what is this vampiric nature coming into people who awaken? Am
I awakened because of my vampiric nature or am I a vampire because
I am awakened?
One always learns. There is something important to learn in this question.
Why most of the “Awakened” are vampires?
Do “we” need some sort of another kind of energy in order to be able
to use our abilities?
Or is it a kind of contrast, as if a superior force had pointed his
finger on us, saying “Okay, you are Aware, your spiritual eyes are
wide opened, but here is something that will keep you symbolically
linked on Earth and matter: your blood hunger. Some of you will materialize
your thirst through blood drinking, some of you will do it through
Or does the fact that the “door is opened” give the Thirst?
I have noticed something particular. There are vampires who are not
even aware of being vampires, and who are not awakened to the spiritual
world. But they are vampires.
So, again this question: why does conscious vampirism and awakening
seem linked? It could be linked to the search of something.
Vampires are searching a special - considered taboo - “food” (i.e.
blood and energy).
Alchemists are searching for the philosopher's stone.
Esoterics who read the Kabala search for a true interpretation of
And so on.
All of them are awakened (as far as they are all conscious of what
they are looking for).
It could be linked to the deepest secrets of the world.
In the blood there is energy. It is considered as a symbol of soul
and life. In some legends, the blood of a king spread on the earth
gave birth to life.
Finding the philosopher’s stone is not only finding the secret to
make gold. It is a symbol: to find the stone, you have to go deep
inside the earth, i.e. inside yourself. See, the word V.I.T.R.I.O.L.
is a symbol for alchemists. Here is the "real" definition of Vitriol:
"Visita Interioræ Terræ Rectificando et Invenies Occultum Lapidem"
It means “Visit the inside of the Earth and you will find the hidden
This is, of course, a pictured definition of going inside of one’s
"self". The Vitriol is, chemically, a highly concentrated acid, and
alchemically this substance "buries" - goes deep inside materia through
This substance is similar in its chemical and alchemical definition.
And the Kabala gives encrypted clues about the spiritual world(s).
Of course, I mentioned these three cases only, but there are many
others. I just wanted to give an example of each kind of clues in
this world: the first; the blood is an organic symbol, present everywhere,
in every mythology, so it is very important. The second one is a mineral
symbol (find the gold and you will find your soul). The third is a
symbol in words (remember: the Word generates the Flesh).
In all of this there is a searching for answers, a searching for a
buried knowledge. The common point between all of this is the “forbidden”,
the taboo - The thirst. In our human society, the knowledge, the deepest
one, is something forbidden. It is reserved for some people that are
ready to get the knowledge. Everything in the society is here to make
the people “sleepy” and unawakened: lies of the politicians, soporific
and garbage TV programs, an ambient conformism… the ones who read
instead of watching TV are considered strange. The ones who read the
Kabala are considered nuts. And so are the “stone-searchers”. And
the vampires. Any person who seems to hold and to search the secrets
of the earth is considered different, as is to be rejected. Witches
in the Late Middle Ages,are a good example of this.
Maybe a vampiric attitude is an avatar of when we were spirits, feeding
only from energy, and a craving to be spirits again. Maybe this is
why vampires are commonly rejected by non-vampires. You drink blood,
you do something forbidden in the collective conscience, and you access
to the soul and life energy in the blood.
All of this is not intended to be dogma; just insights and questions.
There is no absolute knowledge; just clues to ask the true questions
to oneself. I hope this can give clues to others and to myself, in
order to get deeper into the mystery of the universe. I learn, you
learn, everybody learns always and ever as far as we remain honest,
attentive, and open.
Ange de Feu
Geneva, 8th September 2000
Edited, with the permission of the author by:
David Trafford (AKA Everyman)
Stirling, 5th October, 2000